Tate
misfiring
by Roberto
Lavidez
it is good
to live
surrounded
by books
because
you never
know what
can happen
next:
I shook
my head
and stood up
something
was terribly
wrong
an egg
was hatching
in my hand
the egg of
an otter
otters don’t
lay eggs
but I was
starving
time passed
like a
butterfly
in the room
suddenly
I was in
a bathtub
sinking
it felt
like 1945
like everything
was finished
I remember
at some point
I had leeches
on my face
an American
soldier
offered to
remove them
I thought
it’s too soon
to harvest them
they’ll get
much bigger
once I sat
on the toilet
in the lobby
of the
wrestling
amphitheater
for several
hours
astonished
that this was
my life
my only life
and I have
nothing
better
to do
than
sit there
what I
thought
was infinite
will turn out
to be just
a couple of
odds and
ends
a tiny
miscellany
miniature
stuff
fragments
of novelties
of no great
moment
this is
the hardest
part:
when I
came back
to life
I was
a good
family dog
and not
too friendly
with strangers
the lull
dispassion is
upon us
serenity has
triumphed
in its
mindless
atrophied way
a school
of stoics
walks by
eager
in its
phlegmatic
way
to observe
human
degradation
lust and
debauchery
at close
quarters
some people
go their
whole lives
without
ever writing
a single poem
extraordinary
people who
don’t hesitate
to cut
somebody’s
heart or
skull open
the man
sitting
next to me
on the
airplane
said he was
an international
arms dealer
he also said
that he had
written poetry
in his youth
and that
it had
made him
very happy
and that
he wasn’t
quite sure
why he had
quit it
and how he
had ended up
doing what
he does now
you haven’t
scribbled
a syllable
of it
you’re a
nowhere
man
misfiring
the very
essence
of your life
flustering
nothing
from nothing
and back again
a thunderclap
scared me
half to death
I was just
sitting
in my chair
growing
a beard
my brain
lit up like
a pinball
machine
and I prayed
for order
now
it’s really
calm
almost
too calm
as though
anything
could happen
and it
would be
a first
it could be
the worst
thing
that ever
happened
they ask me
if I’ve ever
thought about
the end
of the world
and I say
come in
come in
let me
give you
some lunch
for god’s sake
after a few
bites
it’s the
afterlife
they want
to talk about
the heavens
opened
the heavens
closed
the weather
was inventing
a new way
of expressing
itself
and then the
phone rang
I couldn’t
tell if
it was
a tv phone
or my own
I sat up
half-asleep
and reached
for the phone
Howie
a woman’s
voice said
is that you?
you sound
like you
were asleep
I was
I said
I wasn’t
Howie
but I was
in the mood
to talk to
this woman
Howie
I miss you
I wish
I were
in bed
with you
right now
she said
I miss you
too
I wish you
were here
with me
right now
I said
speaking
of sunsets
last night’s
was shocking
I mean
sunsets aren’t
supposed
to frighten you
are they?
well
this one
was terrifying
people were
screaming
in the streets
I saw
the president
on tv
yesterday
he was
shaking hands
with a farmer
what if
it wasn’t
really
a farmer
behind every
great man
there sits
a rat
and behind
every great rat
there’s a flea
beside the flea
there is an
encyclopedia
©robertolavidez2014
