shrug of silence

by Roberto Lavidez

there is

something

in man

capable of

overcoming

the most

abject miseries

nothing great

has ever been

accomplished

without courage

and lucidity

being able

to foresee

all the

consequences

of an act

placing the

desired result

beyond the

realm of

possibility

it does not

arise in some

intellectual

intuition

or theatrical

deduction or

pretensions of

the operations

of formal

understanding

we refuse

to let ourselves

to be torn

between the

thesis and

antithesis

discouraging

reinvention

of the wheel

as a square

or triangle

but there is

no answer still

to the final

question about

how we reach

absolute

knowledge or

any example

of the

incomprehensible

with all

the errors

contradictions

and hesitations

that such a

confrontation

at the theoretical

level implies

there is just

an unbelieving

shrug of silence

as no one

ever claimed

that life

is easy

reducible

to the

metaphysics

of presence

©robertolavidez2014

despised

and desired

by Roberto Lavidez

in order

to survive

one must

want to

survive

the essence

of power is

to be able to

make things

happen

in this world

which exists

only in our

conception

people can be

emotional

and far too

irrational to

be entrusted

with delicate

matters

meeting

the basic

human need

for dignity

and meaning

such as

the evidence

confronting

anyone with

open eyes

they gamble

away

the sun in

a night

as if hell

was so very

far off

crank doctrines

continue to

flourish

providing

overall

intellectual

integration

for disparate

actions

at dizzying

heights of

abstraction

theories have

appeared with

the passage

of time

each jostling

the others for

the spotlight

ideas flash

through

the brain

penetrating

consciousness

in a mired 

meditation

on life

love

old age

death

everything

is remembered

by the

poor soul

tormented

by his

tumultuous

instincts

ones that

are despised

and desired

at the

same time

©robertolavidez2014

into the

deepest mire

by Roberto Lavidez

in a world

without

absolutes

wisdom

degenerated

until it

gradually sank

into the

deepest

mire of

monkish

superstition

and ignorance

there was

the aggression

not of anger

but of despair

the aggression

of loneliness

the end of

which one

could not

possibly

foresee

with roots

exposed

like claws

crept up

the sand

like crabs

penetrating

the rhetorical

fog that has

engulfed

the issue

life to some

is dependent

on sunlight

to others

upon darkness

reminding one

of his greatest

guilt in all

sorts of

extenuating

circumstances

which have

become

rationalizations

for uncertainty

in reaction to

the challenge

of the radicals

that we must

seek for

the key to

the great

mysteries

of humanity

more than

mere knowledge

in the realm of

abstract thought

to create

the basis for

compromise

perhaps

there is some

small comfort

in that

the idea of

not having 

lived at all

or having 

to die

far from

being complete

in the miserable

remnants

of books

is sabotage

that's what it is

because nature

doesn't know

how to make

dead people

come alive

©robertolavidez2014

the bored man

by Roberto Lavidez

the bored man

reduced to

a mere means

to a replaceable

magnitude

finds out that

he is bored

ventures

momentarily

beyond the

bounds

of reason

stretches

his mind

until it

falls apart

in idiocy

the problem

looks to be

especially

acute

grounded

on something

that is

non-contingent

associated

with a great

logical muddle

miscalled

an irresistible

impulse and

therefore

uncontrollable

if it is thwarted

it will bulge

or leak

or mutate

through the

cracks

the product

of neither

wild probability

nor divine

action

he debates

about the

source and

content of

his morality

a victim of

a false and

distorting

perception

of the world

a vapour

a drop

of water

is enough

to kill him

he arises

like a

budding

yeast and

breaks off

absent-

mindedly

pondering

as the frontier

of ignorance

has been

reached

he inculcates

the trick of

reasoning

in silent

soliloquy

he forgets

his beginning

eternal as

the universe

itself

thus unsoundly

allowing

the nonsense

conclusion

to be drawn

©robertolavidez2014

we are all deserters

by Roberto Lavidez

it was like

a dream

when you are

a little child

always full

of lively

chattering

and laughter

thoughts had

great trouble

merely becoming

spoken or

written words

the present

did not exist

and the future

was inconceivable

everyone was

walking around

unfiltrated by

the forms

of sense

exertions

produced only

a parody

of strength

there wasn’t

panic

there wasn’t

fear

there wasn’t

desperation

as songs

of birds

collided with

the cackle

of baboons

there was the

element of

the mystical

and the bizarre

in the

phenomena

of this world

of vain effort

and illusory

appearances

so now

you have to

wonder about

the role of

false memory

and delusion

we are

all deserters

all shams

more or less

throughout

our lives

everything

decays

wears out

dreadful

outcomes

seem to be

connected to

a warped idea

of divine justice

compatible

with the

mental disorder

of passionate

sorrow

if there is

nothing good

left in the

destiny of

a person

he or she

will die

as flames

danced

with the

afternoon

breeze

swaying  

as if

in agony

©robertolavidez2014

navigating

the rationale

by Roberto Lavidez

if we made

our point

clearer than

centering the

meaninglessness

of the creation

and destruction

of the universe

which would

supersede

all the lame

and broken

efforts to treat

the fragments

of reality

one by one

both deep and

subtle enough

to promote

questions

that there is

no ultimate

truth to be

arrived at

only different

perspectives

about what is

going on below

the apparently

innocuous surface

of everyday life

in which all

our hopes

like trapped

butterflies

end up struggling

too intermingled

to be caught and

pinned down

ambiguous

combinations

of good and evil

wisdom and folly

involving

abstractions that

remove us from

the everyday

abundance

of life

we must learn

to navigate the

rationalization

of human

brain power

and energy

the curious blend

of cold realism

and youthful

idealism

between necessity

and choice which

are transforming

individuals into

the transcendental

realm of mystic life

without completely

losing touch

with reality

if we made

our point

built upon

shared

responsibilities

and aspirations

rather than

indulged in

self-absorbed

and neurotic

fantasies

where the

hunting instinct

was stronger than

the appreciation

of beauty or mercy

©robertolavidez2014

implacable

impression

by Roberto Lavidez

there’s a

conflict in

every human

heart

in the

everyday

sense of the

mind’s eye

implacable

like printed

words

on the

knife-edge

dividing the

ancient world

from the

modern

evolving into

a state of

permanent

and endemic

crisis which

concerns our

innermost and

authentic being

an expression

of experience

by experience

holding trifles

of life in

derision

fascinating

as it was

repulsive

as exhilarating

as it was sad

as tender

as it was cruel

bourne beyond

the hurt and

harm of man

from initial

innocence

and curiosity

through

confusion

feeding the

fear and

misery

of those who

must watch

the nightmarish

hanging of

men from

bare trees

among the

slurred

consonants

and the flat

vowels

of the land

there is no

shortcut

around

this thing

as war goes on

in the distance

receptivity

of the senses

is very much

at stake

we cannot

tolerate

a mere chaos

of impressions

to consider

grievances is

incontrovertible

but the

disruption of

the psyche

and the

backdrop of

a darkening

world

is more

noticeable

as if the puppet

in the midst of

the scene

had gone astray

within itself

uncertainties

squandered

on ignorance

a fact forgotten

as it succumbs

to mind’s

insistence that

it be neither

true nor false

©robertolavidez2014

mental misfortune

by Roberto Lavidez

the solid

ground

under our feet

succumbs to

complete

skepticism

the open road

is brought

to ruin

how much

is real

how much

is feigned

how much

is rendered

possible

through the

instrumentality

of practical

reason

everything

is left for

time and

circumstances

to unfold

one is already

insensitive to

the ugliness

and noisiness

of all direct

dialectics

having sifted

our wisdom

eminently

uncommon in

the accepted

sense

through a sieve

of contempt

looking for

the answer

of a riddle

when we

were called

upon to discern

what was to be

regarded as

inherently good

or inherently evil

the failure

to see this

is simply

mental

misfortune

in pursuit

of mere

phantoms

of the brain

a protest

against

the great

doctrine of

identity

sinking one’s

whole being

towards

annihilation

out of trying

to determine

its intent

with all due

reverence

and fear

as there is

no scientific

proof of

freedom

if there is

to be a

summum

bonum

in the world

it is opposed

by dangerous

conjectures in

ill-breeding

minds

by organized

herd instincts

by the timidity

of the weak

in the spirit of

the pessimism

of indignation

©robertolavidez2014

clash of rival wills

by Roberto Lavidez

nothing 

could be 

easier 

if one 

could do 

what one 

wishes

but things

are done

differently

these days

the mistake

irreversible

the clash of 

rival wills

determined

not to be

annoyed

by trifles

and tinkering

with tiny

mechanisms

reveal ways

that oppose

expectations

to pave the 

way toward

evolutionary

thinking

imagination

fails to create

a world of

inverted logic

in the eternal

language of

dancing eyes

which is

supposed to

cut through 

all difficulties

and put an end

to all doubts

casting aside

the growing

aimlessness

from a

somewhat

less informed

perspective

conspicuous

deeds failing

to follow words

appearing

to exist in

a different

universe

it would take

an unquenchable

curiosity and

a monomaniacal

sense of purpose

to compliment

all sorts

of things

or the world

would be

reduced to a

monotonous

blur

mankind

is only 

et cetera

its needless

waste of life

and shocking

cruelties

struggling

between

the shades

of night

and the

light of 

dawn

©robertolavidez2014

the box of 
our thinking

by Roberto Lavidez

it was hard

for survivors

of the

darkest night

of human

history

to judge

the truth

to debate

whether

an answer

to the problem

is theological

or not

feeling

atomized

rootless

disconnected

and confused

the terror is

in the air and

quite palpable

when it begins

to grow

the frightening

truth is that

we have no

idea

we are quite

ignorant

of the cause

of all

these strange

conditions

everything

seemed to

come from

everything

trying to

make sense

of everything

that had

happened

there is

no end

of dead

and rubbish

all together

the fittest

live on

because they

are the fittest

what else

can you do

we cannot

put god in

the box of

our thinking

with such

a blurred and

incomplete

picture

emotions

may prove

to be even

more

formidable

to surmount

once they

boil over

into fighting

waiting to see

what the dawn

would bring

to those

deemed savage

and those

deemed civilized

the relation

between self

and world

and between self

and other selves

could awaken

memories

too difficult

to bear

proud human 
beings could be

transformed into

scavenging animals

lost in the many

colored void

as we look

at the mangled

body of
the victim

we tend 
to forget

that he was

once a person

©robertolavidez2014

the desire

to get away

by Roberto Lavidez

the pattern

of change

is of a long

period of

little change

delving into

the great

mysteries

of life and

death

in its desire

to get away

from hierarchy

eternally

going through

the motions

of some

meaningless

dance

subjected to

the most cruel

persecution

we were

becoming

victims

of the

complexity

of our ideas

and whimsical

product of a

deranged mind

each following

the one

before it

as if by

processes

of inevitable

circumstance

weaving

myth

legend

fact and

fantasy

without regard

for the sanctity

of cherished

scholarly

beliefs

man’s

ceaseless

struggle to

achieve

his destiny

by imbuing

the myriad

elements of

life with

meaning

have been 

couched in 

different terms

when suffering

is brought up

into language

and spoken

overcome

with a

sickening

feeling of

loneliness

and despair

everything is

screwed up

so deeply

beauty

in culture

becomes

a rarity

passion

for justice

fades

the evolution

of human

intelligence

stops

it just

happens

to turn out

that way

©robertolavidez2014

logical impasse

by Roberto Lavidez

nothing in

human affairs

is predestinable

all painful

memories

of the past

and anxieties

about the future

are not what

they are and

are what they

are not

a melancholy

amounting

almost to

panic

a serious life

means being

fully aware of

the alternatives

but there is

nothing left

by which

the world

can profit

like a flight

of steps

descending

thrusting

all our

conceptions

to the wall

the fits of

despondency

caused by

untoward

incidents in

the struggle

for existence

increasingly

obliged

to concede

the sacrificial

impulse

cannot alleviate

its outcome

no solidarity

in defense

of the pursuit

of truth

a festering sore

a source of

suspicion and

resentment

had we not

done such

and such then

so and so

would never

have happened

by reason of

the presence

of an abnormally

preponderating

intellect

running into

a logical

impasse

asking questions

to understand

the ineradicable

character of evil

which allowed

amusing answers

to inner

enslavement

indecency and

degradation

of senseless acts

carrying out

poetic 

imagination

known to analyze

the sudden rash

of interest

into the

light of day

©robertolavidez2014